The Danger Zone: 5 Most Dangerous Things to do in a 1:1 Meeting

One-on-ones can play a critical role in elevating engagement and performance in an organization. But only IF effectively executed as part of an organization’s robust system of management. Whether you are the supervisor or the ‘in role’ performer, here are 5 things to absolutely AVOID when doing 1:1s (Addition by subtraction, in this case = meaningful and impactful sessions).

If you are the supervisor:

1. Come unprepared: You send a clear message to your team member if you have zero feedback, no direction, or are unprepared to be fully engaged, and it’s NOT a good message.
2. Be distracted: Your time should be laser focused on your team member. Get rid of your technology gadgets, and if your phone rings, don’t even look at it. Your people need to know they have 100% of your undivided attention.
3. Be vague: if your team member asks you for guidance, or if you are offering proactive feedback, be specific so they are clear on your intent and your message. No one finds it useful to walk out of a 1:1 session thinking— “what just happened??”
4. Don’t follow-up: From session to session there should be action items and goals that link to annual performance goals. It’s a HUGE miss if you don’t follow up on previous decisions, goals, or action items. It implies that you either don’t care or aren’t organized, neither of which is good in a leader.
5. Reschedule or blow it off: WORST. MOVE. EVER. Nothing says ‘you are not important to me’ more than consistently moving or missing 1:1 sessions. Avoid this at all costs!

If you are the team member:

1. Come unprepared: This is YOUR time, for YOUR development. Don’t come with nothing to say, no ideas, and just wing-it. Doing this really sends a message to your boss, and it’s NOT a good message.
2. Be unclear where you stand: Part of the purpose of 1:1 sessions is to link back to your annual goals. Remember, they are YOUR goals. If you don’t know where you stand, and what course corrections need to be made, who will?
3. Don’t follow up: From session to session, you should have specific action items and outcomes to achieve and drive progress. If you aren’t tracking this, or you forget, what message does that send? I’ll tell you—that you don’t care about your own progress!
4. Don’t take responsibility: This is no time to play the victim role. Take responsibility for results and outcome; positive or negative. Come with solutions and specific asks when help is needed. Want to be a leader? Then lead. Regardless of your role, figure out ways to eliminate roadblocks and barriers.
5. Reschedule or blow it off: WORST. MOVE. EVER. Nothing says ‘I don’t care about my own development and progress’ more than consistently moving or missing your own 1:1 sessions. Avoid this at all costs!

Leverage 1:1 sessions for what they are—great developmental, coaching, connection, problem solving, solution creating, time!

Andrew Freedman, Principal at entreQuest, specializes in helping eQ’s clients grow by creating well aligned company cultures and strategies that result in remarkable client and employee experiences.