No matter what you think, and no matter how hard you wish it, no one is ever going to hand you the keys to your own chocolate factory.
Yeah, no duh.
But, for whatever reason, you still believe it’s going to happen. And by denying it you’re only continuing to deceive yourself. Little do you know you’ve believed this your whole life – and it’s time to get your head out of that Disney fairytale.
A few weeks ago, eQ CEO Joe Mechlinski shared that, “happiness is not the goal.” But, why then, when you ask most people what they want out of life, they provide you with an answer as canned as sitcom laughter? “Happiness,” they’ll tell you. But why then, if happiness is not the goal, do we consistently benchmark it as such?
Because you’ve been fed a lie that happiness is, and always should be, the goal.
We’ve been led to believe, ad nauseam, success (i.e. wealth and physical items) will bring happiness. Think about it, what would make you happy right now? Money? Car? House? Job? All of it leads right to an empty, superficial understanding of happiness.
But we’re still waiting for our golden tickets. We still get in line and wait for the newest iPhone, TV, or luxury car. Like Charlie, in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, we unwrap chocolate bar after chocolate bar searching for our golden ticket … but no one is ever going to hand you the keys to your own chocolate factory.
The real problem is our expectations. We have an expectation; rather we think we have an entitlement to be happy. We go out in life looking for the golden ticket and when we come up “empty-handed” we’re pissed because that was the key to our happiness. We expected to get everything we wanted, and when we don’t – we label it a failure.
You may be aware Denmark is consistently listed as one of the “happiest” countries on earth. You may also be aware many accredit this to their healthcare system, their high standard of living, or their elevated level of equality. But the underlying reason they top the charts is because they manage expectations better than any other nation – especially better than the United States.
Take for example the tradition of making New Years resolutions. We set our expectations for the entire year on the very first day of the year. It might sound reasonable, but it’s not. Of the millions of people across America who set New Years resolutions or goals, only 8% achieve them, so good luck with that. The success rate will continue to hover in the single digits until we dramatically alter how we set our goals.
Most people set very measurable goals, which is part of the problem. The top three resolutions people make each year are:
Lose weight
Get organized
Save more/make more money
When you fail, and statistically speaking you will likely fail, it will be because of how you set your expectations. You wrongfully associated losing weight, getting organized, or making more money with an increase in your personal happiness … but as I already mentioned – happiness is not the goal.
The goal is purpose.
More specifically mission, impact, and purpose. These three elements, when applied to goal setting, go well beyond the delicate façade of simple, measurable indicators. How? Because they’re lasting indicators. Losing a few pounds or growing revenue is a fleeting acquisition, but defining your purpose, creating a mission, and implementing enduring impact will carry well into the future.
We’re too busy looking for happiness in all the wrong places; we’re too busy looking for shortcuts. Happiness is not the byproduct of tangible metrics like we think it is. Instead, it is the intersection of an intentional mission, impact, and purpose that result in true personal happiness.
From purpose springs abiding happiness … for those of you looking for an easier route – sorry Charlie, no golden ticket here.
