Go F*#% Yourself!
Those were the last words I heard as I hung up the phone with a disappointed candidate.
Here’s the thing, I’d like to say those words burned me, but they didn’t. Instead, I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness for the candidate—and it only strengthened the security I have in our selection process.
Here’s the whole story: we were hiring for a position that created a lot of interest, nearly 200 applicants and we hadn’t even begun to tap into our own networks. Through pre-screens and profiles the pool was narrowed down, this particular candidate did not make the cut. However, he continued to reach out to my entreQuest (eQ) and Joe, ensuring he was the perfect candidate. Well, if you know anyone at eQ, you know we all love to help others—and this situation was no different. I decided to bring him in for an interview (I still believed he wasn’t the right fit for the job), but at the very least I would be able offer some career and resume coaching.
Look, interviews aren’t easy—I would argue that no one excels in interviews, so anyone that might outwardly appear awkward or nervous doesn’t faze me one bit. Honestly, it’s still hard for me to articulate the uneasy energy felt during this particular interview and even I made several attempts, no connection was made. This candidate received the same questions and level of attention I give all other candidates. I encouraged him to be more receptive to feedback, to give more strategic responses, I practically begged him to dig deeper—give me more than the surface level…
We never got there.
I informed the candidate he wasn’t a fit, but that he was welcome to reach back out if he ever needed support in his career search.
Fast forward three weeks—we received a call from the HR department of our hiring company informing us that this candidate had reached out several times to their organization and to please let the candidate know to cease contact. I immediately followed up with the candidate and questioned why he would make contact with the company, knowing all parties had already moved in another direction. What I received was the same defensive approach I experienced in the interview, but with, let’s just say, a lot more enthusiasm.
The candidate enthusiastically informed me that he did not respect my (or that of the hiring company’s) professional opinion, that the wrong choice was made, and that he didn’t care what bridges were burned—all while the volume and tone of his tangent escalated toward abusive. Then the wonderful conversation, that was the start of my day, capped off with an enthusiastic, “Go f*#% yourself!”
Again, for his sake, I almost wish those words had a scarring effect on me. Unfortunately for him, his words only gave me a sense of remorse for him, knowing he has a family to provide for and is on track to potentially repeat the same mistakes… I couldn’t help feel bad for him. What’s even worse (for him) is that due to the lack of professionalism he showed, I can no longer consider this candidate for any opportunity in the future.
Believe me, I know rejection is never easy—whether it happens professionally or personally, it certainly doesn’t feel good. It’s not easy for the candidate to hear he isn’t right for a job, and contrary to some people’s beliefs, it’s not easy for the recruiter or hiring manager to say it either. But, there are ways to not only handle it, but do so gracefully in a way that sets you up for future success:
First things first, stay cool! I know it's easy to get caught up in the moment, but the most important thing you can do in these situations is remain calm, keep your head about you and then follow my tips below:
- Take the high road—Follow-up with a thank you. Let the hiring manager or recruiter know you would like to be considered for future opportunities. Kind words and gestures stand out and we are more likely to reach out to these candidates as opposed to those that drop off. A thank you serves as a great barometer of a candidate’s personality in regard to bouncing back, customer service skills, general outlook on life, and seriousness moving forward. Remember, our grading process doesn’t stop after the interview—even if you don’t get called back for a second interview.
- Respect the process—Clients hire us for a reason. We are here to do the heavy lifting and serve as the filter, ensuring our clients meet only those individuals that are a fit culturally and that are truly qualified for the opportunity. By circumventing the process and reaching out directly to the hiring company you are simply telling both the hiring company and the recruiter that you don’t respect their process or professional opinion. That is going to get you nowhere and simply result in two, newly burned bridges.
- Utilize your newly formed connections—I can’t speak for the entire industry, but I certainly can for myself and my teammates, if we tell you that we will keep you in mind for future opportunities or to reach out for support when you need it, believe us! We actually mean it! At any given week we are managing more than 200 candidates, so yes—you may not receive constant communication, but we are always here. Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone or send an email, sharing any thoughts or updates. A candidate-recruiter relationship won’t work if it’s one-sided—to make it work, share some of the weight and be sure to stay present.
- Send Us Referrals—So, you’re not the right fit. Know that we feel the frustration right along with you, but an easy way to stay present and to keep the positivity flowing is to send us a candidate that could be the right fit. You have an advantage here, you’ve already heard the needs of the role, received feedback as to why this wasn’t your right fit, and more often than not you have someone in your network that would be a rock-star at this opportunity. By sending a strong referral you are sending the message that you were paying attention, that you care about the hiring company moving forward and want them to succeed. This act of selflessness is HUGE. It serves as a great character testament and will stick with your recruiter for a long time.
- Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions—You can only grow and learn from something if you have the facts. If you receive notice that you aren’t the right fit, don’t hesitate to ask, “Why?” Many of us enter this career because we love helping people—we want you to grow, we want you to succeed. If you aren’t receiving the feedback you deserve, question it and be open to it. Admittedly, I struggle in diving deeper in rejection conversations, they are simply hard to have. In most cases you can tell when someone tunes you out after the news is delivered, so feedback might not always be welcome, but if I am asked directly, I will absolutely let you know why and give you the same level of honestly I expected from you in the interview process.
You may have already known not tell your recruiter off after a rejection, but now you know exactly what you should say and do to turn that rejection into something more positive and make a great impression with recruiters and hiring managers.
As Talent Acquisition Manager, Kelly focuses on finding the right candidates to fit our clients’ needs. Kelly works with our clients to understand the exact skills and attributes that would fit with the cultural climate and their environment.
