By Mark Slatin, Outsourced VP of Sales at entreQuest
Frank Eastham, the Director of Leadership Development and Diversity Training at Bridgeway Community Church in Columbia, MD walks the talk. Today he issued a challenge to over 2000 attendees in the audience: “Don’t take Martin Luther King Day off.” A hush rolled over the anxious congregation until he continued with: “Take Martin Luther King Day on!” “Mmmm” resonated from congregants as they contemplated the challenge.
Frank, who is also the Principal of Oakland Mills High School, succeeds famously at fostering reconciliation in the heart of culturally diverse Howard County, MD, because he disrupts the status quo.
So this is my “taking on” Frank’s challenge; bridging Dr. King’s message about reconciliation to the lesson for those of us in the world of selling.
What does his message have to do with success in selling?
With no disrespect to those who bravely fought and risked their lives so others could have freedom, let me suggest that reconciliation happens person-to-person, one heart and mind at a time. The parallel is about building relationship with people we find challenging – and not just customers.
Despite the injustices he aimed to overcome, Dr. King articulated the need for reconciliation in his I Have a Dream speech: "But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.”
Selling Secrets Debunked
The single most important factor consistent in top career producers across all industries is not measured by looks, charm, methodology, luck, or even hard work. It’s woven in the fabric of Dr. King’s speech – the message of reconciliation. Salespeople who sustain success build bridges in all directions.
Most sellers understand the need to build relationships with their customers. Too often, they’ve taken their role of “customer advocate” as a license to steamroll the rest of the team.
Complete sellers know something else. They build relationships in a 360 degree circle, even with colleagues, business partners, suppliers, etc. that others find exasperating.
I’m not suggesting it’s easy, but hey, the emancipation proclamation existed for over 100 years before racial equality made significant strides in the U.S. Anger didn’t work, violence didn’t work, and separatism didn’t work. Although I’ve seen them all tried in sales, they aren’t sustainable strategies in their either.
A Self Examination
Where can you build deeper relationships? Maybe it’s that associate who gets under your skin each time you think about interacting with him or her. Maybe it’s that person who gives you a hard time while others get a smooth ride?
In his article, “My Client is a Jerk” co-author of the Trusted Advisor, Charles H. Green suggests defining your client in malicious terms creates a horrible problem statement because:
- It’s highly unlikely to be accepted by the client.
- It’s highly subjective.
- It’s unverifiable.
Instead Green suggests we begin with ourselves.
“What’s true of clients is equally true for us. Particularly in selling, we are loaded with fears. We are afraid, first of all, of not getting the sale. And it goes deeper. We’re afraid of our boss, peers and loved ones knowing that we might not get the sale — afraid of their judgment. We’re afraid of the judging of the client, too — feeling that if we don’t get the sale, it means they think less of us.”
So we fall into the blame game.
“One of the most emotionally attractive ways out of the tyranny of self-judgment is to blame others.”
Complete Sellers Reframe
He suggests we consider reframing the problem statement to one which has YOU in it.
Here are three tips:
- Don’t get held hostage to the outcome. We’re not responsible for our client’s actions, we can only inform them as best we can.
- Check your ego at the door. The best way to lose a sale is to try too hard to get the sale. Focus on building the relationship.
- Be curious. Ask what is the client fearful of? What might they be reluctant about? What’s at stake for her?
I love his overarching statement, “There aren’t any difficult clients. Not really. There are only relationships that aren’t working well. And nearly all of those can be fixed. But it must start with us.”
Resentment, it is said, is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Martin Luther King, Jr. shared a message of freedom. This MLK Day “free” yourself from difficult relationships - live the message of reconciliation.
Who do you need to reconcile with?
