How do we define EQ, and why should we care about growing our own?
EQ is a measurement of an individual’s emotional intelligence. It has been described as the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is made up of four core skills (self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management) that are included under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.
This includes a set of skills that can be acquired and practiced over time. To take it a step further, EI is aligned with performance. TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills and found emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs. Of these studied at work, TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. On the flip side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in emotional intelligence.
This all sounds great and makes sense, right? So, if emotional intelligence impacts how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results, AND is important to our performance, how can we grow ours?
Here are 3 areas you can focus first:
- Respond vs. React
When you react you are practicing an unconscious behavior because of an emotional trigger, so the way you behave is not intentional. If you notice how you feel first, and then decide how you will respond, you are making a conscious decision on how you want to behave and communicate. This limits the emotion that can dictate your reaction vs. intentional response. - Reflect
We all have limited time, so when we are rushing from one thing to the next, whether physical or in our minds, many of us lose touch with our emotions. This stems back to #1, when we are not aware of our emotions, we cannot respond appropriately, we are more likely to let our emotions take over and get the best of us.
When we are reflecting or taking breaks throughout the day, it is important to make sure we are in touch with the way we are feeling. We must learn how to trust our emotions and be able to make conscious decisions.
Need a refresher or tip for the day? Try this:
Set a timer for various points during the day. When the timer goes off, take a few deep breaths and notice how you’re feeling emotionally. Pay attention to where that emotion is showing up as a physical feeling. What does this feel like, and what may be causing it? Just notice it and acknowledge it. When you practice this, it will become a part of your day.
- Empathy
It is not uncommon our clients will say as a part of our surveying process that their team members just don’t understand what it is like, there is a lack of empathy amongst the team. Human behavior is fascinating and comes with a lot of different components. Think about it: what drives your negative emotional reactions? Often, it's the opinions and requests of others. As the tried and true saying goes, “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” Maybe you perceived the situation different than his or her intent. By taking a step back and reflecting on your perception and what the other person's possible motivations are, you are able to take in additional information and have a discussion before reacting. The other person feels understood/heard, and you can work together to find common ground instead of running the risk of being unnecessarily reactive.
Often, we have goals set and are striving to meet some sort of milestone or achievement, so why not include a strategy in getting there. As one of our clients once said, “We can get there many ways, but we must identify where we are going.”
Yes, there are many ways to get to an end point, but how will you feel and be perceived along the way?
Emotional intelligence helps us manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions – all very important components while carrying our strategies and tactics to achieve a goal successfully. Everyone has their own approach and we can learn from one another, so share some of the ways you practice improving your emotional intelligence!
