"The impulse to possess is alive in every heart, and some people choose vast plains, some people choose high mountains, some people choose wide seas, and some people choose husbands; I chose to possess myself."
I’ve loved this quote by Jamaica Kincaid ever since I first read it in college. It resonated with me on a deep level, inspiring me to truly know or “possess” myself.
Perhaps that is why I was stunned. Shocked. Maybe even a bit defensive. Learning these three things, among others, about myself threw me off my game:
My primary Behavior is “Following Policy.”
I am uncomfortable with gray.
On the margin, I’m more task than people-oriented.
Let me back up. At SHIFT, our perspective is that high performance is not limited to the actual work that needs to be done-- it is also very much about how people show up. What does that mean, exactly? When clients ask us how they can elevate their teams' performance, we believe it is critical to understand behaviors, or what people do, competencies, how people do what they do, and driving forces, why they do what they do.
And so not surprisingly, as part of my interview process with SHIFT, I took a test (TTI Success Insight®'s Tri-Metrix® DNA Assessment) which uncovered my behaviors, competencies, and driving forces. The results just didn’t resonate – until that is – I had them interpreted by various SHIFT team members. Slowly, lightbulbs starting going off, things started resonating, and opportunities to have impact became clearer.
So how has this shown up for me professionally? Let’s take my primary Behavior: “Following Policy.” I’ve always perceived myself as being comfortable breaking rules when I think it makes sense to do so. And that’s exactly it: when it “makes sense to do so,” which by the way, I didn’t make that connection until some of our fellow team members with deep TTI-related experience made it for me. Also, “Following Policy” includes having an affinity for structure and consistency – or in my case – a deep love for it. So how am I able to have even more impact knowing this? For one, while structured thinking may come “naturally” to me (or rather I may have “nurtured” this more), I now understand that others are driven by different behaviors. By adding structure to the unstructured, while also recognizing where structure is unwarranted and limiting, is where I can add real value.
At the same time, acknowledging that my instinct is to place things into clearly defined categories is consistent with having a preference for black and white versus gray. Recognizing this has helped me to not only manage the urge to do so, but to also acknowledge nuances: some things are just too complex to fit into neat little buckets.
Understanding the results has also helped me personally. I'm task-oriented and I take my time with decisions, which means that I'm more inclined to engage with others after the task at hand is completed. While my husband hasn’t yet taken the test, my guess is that he's more people-oriented and quicker with decisions. Simply recognizing that we operate differently has shifted the way I interact with him. For example (and one I've been intentionally focusing on), when he's relaxing on the couch despite our shared never-ending to-do list, instead of getting frustrated by his care-free demeanor, I now try to join him. I need to remind myself to unwind and engage on that human-to-human level, despite the seemingly endless tasks at hand. And although it’s still a bit uncomfortable for me to do so, it’s much more comfortable than being frustrated.
Curious to learn more about how you and your team can have even more impact (and maybe even reclaim some sanity)? I'd venture to say that in the process, you'll likely come closer to truly "possessing" yourself. Let’s connect!
