Trust is a complicated thing. It finds its way, both positively and negatively into just about every aspect of our lives – and yet, it’s often hard to identify or define. It’s more about a feeling than a definition. More often than not, trust “lives” in your gut and your heart – not your brain.
But recently, I heard someone break it down in a way I’d never heard before – he simplified it into this:
TRUST = Sincerity + Competence + Reliability
As soon as I heard it, it clicked. It was so obvious – of course! How could I possibly trust someone (or something) unless I also felt he was sincere, competent, and reliable?
But then, as I often do, I began to over-think it … it can’t really be that easy, can it?
What does sincerity mean? What about competence? And reliability?
So as I allowed myself to go down the rabbit hole of defining these mammoth feelings, here’s what I discovered:
First, I started with a dictionary …
Sincerity [sin-ser-i-tee]: noun, freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness.
Competence [kom-pi-tuh ns]: noun, the quality of being competent; adequacy; possession of required skill, knowledge, qualification, or capacity.
Reliability [ri-lahy-uh-bil-i-tee]: noun, the ability to be relied on or depended on, as for accuracy, honesty, or achievement.
But that obviously wasn’t sufficient enough … after thinking a bit more about each word; I came up with my own definitions, ones that seemed more applicable to my life and my work:
Sincerity is being authentic and genuine; it’s really hearing and listening to others, and then taking an appropriate action. According to Towers Watson: of 75 possible drivers of engagement, the one that was rated as the most important was the extent to which employees believed that their senior management had a sincere interest in their well‐being.
So, what can you do to ensure your team recognizes your sincerity?
• Ask them what they think – really listen to their answer and ask thoughtful follow up questions.
• Give them responsibility and autonomy – let them know why you’re doing so too (because you trust them).
• Acknowledge and praise their work – and not just the outcomes, but the process or journey they took to achieve the desired outcome.
Competence is being an expert without being arrogant; it’s being so comfortable with a skill that sharing it with and teaching it to others just comes naturally. Now, not all competence is truly natural, for example a recent New York Times article concluded that wearing makeup (“but not gobs of Gaga-conspicuous makeup”) can help increases people’s perceptions of a woman’s competence. And we all know that perception is a reality … right!
So, what can you do to ensure your team perceives you as competent? It’s even simpler than wearing (more) makeup: you must be competent—and you need to refrain from doing things that demonstrate that you are struggling to keep up. Demonstrating an aura of competence can translate into a physical competence.
Reliability is being there for others, always. It’s keeping your word and being true to time commitments. It’s almost as simple as just showing up – and as Woody Allen says, “90% of life is just showing up.” But really being reliable to others is more than that – it’s showing up when you said you would, with whatever you said you’d bring.
So, what should you do to be more reliable?
• Make realistic commitments and keep your word
• Say what you mean, and mean what you say
• Ask really good questions – the more you know about a person or situation, the better equipped you’ll be in supporting them when the time comes
Now, while each of these words, including trust, appear complicated and hard to pin down, after dissecting each a bit and really digging down to the core of what each means, the overall idea of TRUST is rather simple:
•Be authentic
•Be an expert
•Be there for others
Trust is a make-or-break emotion felt in the gut that can be the ultimate deciding factor in relationships, particularly in business relationships. Establishing trust is at the cornerstone of human connection, so maybe it’s time we all spend a little more time trying to be authentic, be an expert, and be there for the people in our lives. That’s all it takes.