In May I attended a Mindful Parenting session at Kennedy Krieger Institute’s Center for Autism and Related Disorders. The focus centered on how to approach stressful situations with special needs children and how to live a more mindful, present life as a parent. I left this 1.5 hour session and the approach and practice of mindfulness has stuck with me. I have attempted to apply mindfulness (with some success) not just in parenting, but in all of my relationships - at work, at home, and in the greater community.
In a world of constant distractions and interruptions, the ability to be present in the moment, mindful of the current interactions with people and the world around us, can lead to more meaningful relationships, more focused work, and a greater impact in our world.
It may seem obvious, but it is often the simplest of actions that can be overlooked for creating a more mindful approach in work. Using active listening and a deliberate approach to our environment are two ways to begin to explore and practice mindfulness.
Active Listening:
How often are we sitting in a meeting and our mind is somewhere else? We are not actively listening to our colleagues or the presenter. We are forming our response or rebuttal. We are making mental notes of our unfinished “to do list.” And we are missing.
We are missing the opportunity to fully connect with a colleague, to understand a problem more accurately, to create a solution with a more complete and collaborative approach.
On most nights from 7:30 – 9:00pm you can find me in a rocking chair with a child on my lap and a book in my hands. Typically, I only have 30-45 minutes of this daily one-on-one time with my kiddos, but being fully present reading “Good Night Moon” for the 10th time can be a challenge. It’s very difficult not to project forward with my “to-do-list” - reading to the next kid, composing an email to a colleague, or talking about a house I saw on Redfin with my husband. But, if I didn’t force the mindfulness- being present – I would miss a lot. Miss complete relaxation of my 18-month old in my arms; miss the smell of shampoo as my 3 year old nuzzles in for her last story and snuggle; miss the natural smile that appears on the face of my 6 year old as he listens to The Narnia series
Physical Environment:
How often have we sat with a colleague and only half listened to their idea because we were reading or composing emails, or thinking about our next meeting? And we missed. Again.
Putting your cell phone in your pocket or leaving it behind when attending a meeting can remove the addictive and immediate response mechanism of communications that exists with a mobile device.
Closing down your email for the length of a meeting or shutting off your lap top during a presentation minimizes distractions, shows respect for your colleagues, and creates more meaningful connections and work.
Practicing Mindfulness takes Practice:
The only way to strengthen the mindfulness muscle is with practice. When we are called to be present and our mind begins to wander, don’t become disheartened. Make the conscious decision to come back to the present interaction- the current moment- and consider this a win.
Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can be accomplished through active listening, intentional changes to your physical environment, and acknowledging that it will take time. Make mindfulness part of your routine and “misses” will surely decrease and strengths increase.